The thought of never being able to look a child in the eye and see a part of you looking back can be heart breaking. Many couples will struggle with fertility issues when trying to become parents. The medical aspect of infertility at times overlooks the emotional ordeal a couple endures during the journey of infertility treatment….
Feeling as if they are all alone, couples struggle with wondering if they will ever be able to conceive. They beat themselves up thinking that it is something they are doing wrong, or that they are being punished for something. They feel as though they are failing their job of being a man or a woman and/ or failing their role in the relationship with their spouse.
Common emotions that the sub-fertile woman may feel include anxiousness, anger, depression, sadness and hopelessness.
Infertility also usually leads to a decrease in self esteem. Many women become sad or jealous when they hear that someone else they know got pregnant or if they see other pregnant women out in public.
Each month as they renew their energy to try again they begin to feel anxious, wondering if this could be the lucky month. Then at the first sign of not feeling well she runs to her stock of pregnancy tests only to be deflated by the reading of the results. She feels angry that there is nothing she can seem to do to make it happen. Often the hurting comes off at her husband as anger, when she’s really just frustrated. This leads to stress in their relationship.
Men are often forgotten about when it comes to the emotional impact of infertility, but they also suffer. They do feel the same pain and wonder if it is something they are doing wrong. They often question their manhood. Most men feel as though they are somehow letting their wives down. They are used to fixing things that go wrong and feel frustrated that this is one thing that they can’t fix, no matter how well their tool chest is stocked.
Although most women choose to keep their emotional pain to themselves, it’s not the healthiest thing to do. They may feel they don’t want to burden others with their problems or to appear weak. But keeping it bottled up inside only makes things worse, you need an outlet for that pain.
Expressing emotions There are several things you can do express those feelings in a healthy way:
- Find a few people that you trust and talk to them about your pain.
- Visit infertility discussion boards and chats to share stories with other couples going through the same thing. Also, visit the boards for those that are pregnant, you will find that many of them also struggled with infertility.
- Find an infertility support group either in your area or online.
- Keep a diary and put your feelings on paper.
- Exercise the anger off — physical activity will help you release the stress.
- Don’t be afraid to research and ask questions, learn as much as you can about infertility and your options.By reaching out, you will realize that you are not the only one struggling with infertility and this should bring you some comfort. You will also feel better just by sharing those feelings. The most important thing to do is not let the pain get the best of you, you need to keep your head up and keep trying. Remember that parenthood is worth fighting for….And science nowadays enables couples to bear children of their own.. And even if that is not possible, there are many options available to parent a child….
Remember, your doctor can be your biggest confidante and help you in this journey…